Attacked!
by Phelan
Summary: A simple little fic, my first foray into Slayers territory. Xelloss has his orders...


Disclaimer: Don't own Slayers, but that doesn't mean I'm not trying!  
  
  
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Attacked  
  
  
The band of brigands all exchanged looks; an easy target. One man, unarmed except for the gnarled staff topped with a very large and expensive-looking jewel. As one, the group jumped out and quickly surrounded the priest. The leader of the gang stepped forwards, towering over the young man, who didn't seem the least bit intimidated.  
  
"Give us all your money, and we might let you live."  
  
"No."  
  
After the entire band picked themselves back up, the leader leaned in closer and brought his sword up to hover just below the priest's chin.  
  
"We can always kill you now and just take what we want. It's up to you."  
  
"How about we make a deal: You kill the small group that will be coming through in the next twenty minutes, and I let *you* live."  
  
All twenty bandits spared each other another look before dissolving into wild laughter. The purple-haired man stood his ground and waited for the laughter to die out. Finally, one of the other bandits stood and, with a nod from his boss, charged. Utterly nonplussed, the trickster priest yawned and watched as the poor man brought his sword down in an arc intended to crush his victim's head in. The sword intersected the very spot that the man's head had been, hissing down and meeting thin air. Suddenly unbalanced by his wild swing, the brigand stumbled forwards. The priest had vanished, only to reappear just behind his attacker. Bringing the staff down in a brown blur, he stopped it a hairsbreadth away from mashing the bandit's skull. Then, almost gently, he rapped the large red orb against the man's head, sending him sprawling, as the bandit had yet to recover from his earlier mistake. The other men stood in shock; the lone man had moved so fast when he dodged, there wasn't even a blur to give him away. As the bandit gathered his legs beneath him, he lashed out with a kick meant to drop the priest flat on his back. This time, the attack connected, and the bandit let out a small yelp. The kick had done nothing, not even forced the slightest of tremors into the man who stood there, grinning like a maniac and somehow looking into the eyes of his prey, though his own eyes were closed.  
  
"So, are any of you going to take me up on my offer, or shall I kill you all?"  
  
"Who-what kind of demon are you?"  
  
"That was a good guess, how did you know I was one of the monster race? I am Xelloss, Trickster Priest and General for my lord, Zelas Metallium."  
  
All twenty bandits went wide-eyed in terror. The leader of the gang wised up and decided it would probably be a good idea to be nice to the evil power in front of him.  
  
"Ah, sure. We'll do it if you spare us. But we are bandits; can you spare us some loot to make it worthwhile?"  
  
"No, no money, but I can give you something of value. How would it feel to be the group that brought down the Bandit Killer Herself, Lina Inverse? I was ordered to kill her, and I wanted to make sure I get it right."  
  
"Is that who you want us to kill? Forget it! We've heard the stories; nobody messes with her unless they plan on dying. I plan on getting rich, fat, and happy. There aren't many things worse than trying to off the Bandit Killer."  
  
"Well, either I kill you now, or you try to kill Lina and possibly survive. I'll give you some help; a little Mazoku magic to even the odds."  
  
"Well, when you put it that way, it looks like we don't have a choice. I'll do it; anyone else coming?"  
  
He turned to face his group, and surprisingly enough, every last one of them nodded. He felt like an idiot, but stuck between two possible deaths, he'd take the one which he might survive. Turning back to Xelloss, he fought off a major case of the shakes and said, "Well, it looks like we have a deal. Now make with the magic."  
  
Xelloss snapped his fingers, and each bandit began to look closely at their hands. Dark, intricately detailed pentagrams appeared on the backs of their hands, as if tattooed by a master and given a life of their own. Xelloss smiled, a tilted half-smile of evil that ran icy fingers up the spine of every man.  
  
"Why don't you," he seemed to pick a man at random, "try taking a swing at that tree over there."  
  
The selected bandit, one of the faster but less muscled of the group, gave a puzzled look before pulling his short-sword and stepping up to the nearby tree. With a whirlwind of motion, he swung again and a gain at the giant trunk. After several seconds, he stopped and stepped back. The massive trunk of the old tree seemed undamaged, but wood soon separated and fell to the earth. An intricately carved replica of Xelloss, accurate to the smallest detail, was revealed before the tree collapsed. A cheer rose up from the bandit horde; they were ready, chomping at the bit to erase the greatest threat to their profession. Xelloss laughed and vanished into thin air while the men hurried to find places to hide and ambush Lina.  
  
Within minutes, Lina and the usual cast of friends came walking down the trail. Xelloss was among them, smiling his usual 'I know a secret' smile and floating lazily among them. Zelgadis and Amelia were deep in discussion, no doubt the Chimera trying to hold off the amorous princess. Gourry and Lina led the way, laughing and probably enjoying the constant attentions that Amelia was trying to lavish upon poor Zelgadis.  
  
Once the group had reached the center of the waiting band of outlaws, the thieves jumped out and charged. The Slayers seemed surprised; no demands, no speeches about 'Your money or your life,' just a sudden attack by men who looked ready to kill. Lina started the whole battle off with a monsterous Dill Brand, and then the whole thing degenerated into close-quarters combat. Amelia cast a Vis Farank, then proceeded to beat back at the advancing group. Gourry and Zelgadis rushed into the fray with swords blazing; Gourry with his ridiculously grand skills and sword of light, Zelgadis with his tough hide and Astral Vine-enhanced sword. Only Lina had a hard time, without any powerful close-range spells and slightly above-average sword skills. Still, she was very upset by the fact that these men *dared* to attack her, and so she simply worked through them with fists and feet. Within moments, the battle was over. Every last bandit lay crumpled in a heap, various limbs bent at odd angles, fairly large bruises covering almost every square inch of badguy. Lina put them out of her misery with a well-charged fireball, and the group continued on its way. At least until Amelia caught sight of the statue of a certain Trickster Priest. Five minutes later, the group continued on adventuring, minus one badly-beaten Mazoku, who lay bleeding and groaning in the middle of the trail, but still grinning like a true monster would.  
  
Some people will do anything for a laugh, even when it's a private joke.  
  
  
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Phelan: Well Xelloss, what do you have to say for yourself?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa-  
  
A very large mallet whomps the Beast Master Xelloss into a broken heap on the floor of the FWR.  
  
Xelloss: Could I have another? ^_____^  
  
Phelan: Fruitcake. Alright folks, REVIEW!! 


End file.
